I can’t fight

12 Sep

Actually, I should rephrase that. I CAN fight (I am talking verbally of course)- with the best of them if necessary. My problem, when I fight, is I become so impassioned about what I’m saying that I shut down. I drop walls to whoever is in conflict with me. I thought I had this more under control but I found out last night last night that I was sadly mistaken.

I have become very passive when it comes to fighting to the point that I will shut my mouth and refuse to speak so that I may avoid the pain of a fight. If the topic is of someones safety, I will make my voice heard. If  the topic has to do with children, I may speak up. Here lately I have become very opinionated about politics and religion.

I think part of my problem is people who want to argue things they are ignorant of as if it’s gospel- even if they have nothing to back it up with… I think that’s EVERYBODY’S problem, isn’t it? I learned the hard way to bite my tongue unless I could back up what I was saying. And as I become more and more learned about certain topics, the more vocal I become. Which is a COMPLETE contradiction to my keeping my mouth closed because I don’t want the STRESS of an argument!!

Now if you want to DEBATE with me and have FACTS to back your argument up with I will accept your point of view, even if I don’t change mine. But God Almighty at least know SOMETHING about what you’re talking about besides what your friends told you or what the headline of the local newspaper said!

Don’t be a CLONE DAMMIT!


One Response to “I can’t fight”

  1. CHESS October 3, 2011 at 22:51 #

    I don’t know how many times I have red this passage ,, I am truly sorry . I had based my point of view on some thing I thought i had a memory of , but if you read the” invisible gorilla” second chapter , I can see how that is not even a solid thing ….it really is a good read , never less I can see now that what seems to be, I am now alone and have no confirmation of any thing different , It seems what you need in times of dis-pare and what I need are completely unalike , I just can not be leave we were that weak …. a void is now in place and I have no way of filling it as of this point. usually when i say I am sorry, I find a way to correct my self , but in this case that is all I can do wile I give up and move on with my life , and call what we had ” a nice summer romance ” and it was nice , ” the best” I am truly sorry for expecting to much , I am truly sorry for the bad timing, I am truly sorry for the pain that i seem to have brought to our relation ship , I am truly sorry for letting you in , I am truly sorry for taking you back to the past that you where trying to forget , I am truly sorry for being less then what you needed , I am truly sorry for the monster you now see me as , I am truly sorry that I can’t be there for you , I am truly sorry for the false hope , I am truly sorry i could not fix things , I am truly sorry that I had made things worse , I am truly sorry for finding ways to send you messages when you don’t really want them , I am truly sorry for not really knowing what you need , I am truly sorry … for being a part of your life that needs to be erased . I am truly sorry that i could not tell you the way I felt in fear of creating more distance between us, i am truly sorry for giving up , I am truly sorry for not listening more to what you had to say, i am truly sorry for wasting your time, I am truly sorry! Good by my beautiful flower, I am truly sorry!

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