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A New Leaf Turned

1 Nov

It’s that time again. The time when I begin a new cycle of writing. It always comes in cycles and when that cycle is at its lowest and I’m writing little if any, that’s when I feel my worst. I am pleased to be at the beginning of it again. That means fresh outlooks, new inspirations, and a positive attitude towards myself.

I am beginning with a post a week but I would like for that to be an absolute minimum. I am at my best when I’m writing. Hopefully I can share some unique posts with everyone.

…and we begin again…


The Choices We Make

15 Sep

The two teenage girls we transported to the hospital were still in the “what just happened- how could this happen to me” phases of a horrendous car wreck such as the one they were just involved in.  I am reasonably sure these kids were now VERY clear on just how bad an idea it was to skip school to go get high. Did they know the driver? No. They couldn’t even give us his name. They just knew him from around school.

After the SUV that rolled several times came to rest on its roof, everyone scrambled out of the now broken tangled mass of steel and broken glass. They all ran in the direction furthest from the engine, which was steaming, behind the body of the truck in hopes of having something between them and what they saw as a potential explosion hazard.

Much to their surprise (and ultimate dismay) they were met with another occupant of the vehicle who had beaten them to the back of the truck…

…before it landed…

…on top of him.

But not all of him.

Just his head…

… but not his whole head.

Only his cranium down to his cheek bones. Leaving the face staring back at you looking like a child trying to make the ‘fish face’ we’re all so familiar with. But with the grotesque reality that it was essentially a massive steel vice- not soft, supple childrens’ hands- that made this kids fish face turn your stomach. That and the fact that the inside of this guys cheek bones were now touching. There was no blood. Aside from the disturbing fish face and the truck protruding from his head, you saw nothing much out of the ordinary.

No. He wasn’t wearing his seat belt. None of them were. How, then, did the other three escape with so few injuries? My partner and I back-boarded and transported two of the three still living. The one we didn’t transport was an eighteen year old high school senior who legally signed his own Refusal of Treatment/Transport form.

One girl had minor neck pain, the other had minor cuts. But now… Now they’re sorry. SO sorry for having cut school. So sorry for not wearing their seat belts. So sorry for wanting to get high because NOW it seemed SO unimportant… now that a kid’s dead. And they didn’t even know his name.

32 Years Old and 2 Weeks Away From a Hysterectomy??

13 Sep

I won’t be too detailed about my personal situation (because I would like for you to come back) but I’ll give you the quick PG version.

My girly parts have always served the function they were supposed to- I have 2 awesome kids- but it was never without a fight. I have been plagued with pain since that first blessed month. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts as so many women are. A couple of years later The doctors said that it might actually be fibroids.

For those who aren’t aware, an ovarian cyst is a fluid filled sacks on the surface of the ovary. These are usually painless and usually resolve on their own within a couple of months. Most women have them at some point in their lives, even if they aren’t aware of it. However, if an ovarian cyst ruptures, it can be pretty dang painful and cause other problems as well. If you ever have unexplained chronic pain in your abdomen, please don’t be a guy! Go get it checked out!

Moving on…

A uterine fibroid is a muscular tumor that can be between the size of an apple seed and the size of a grapefruit depending on your own personal situation. They are also called “leiomyoma” (leye-oh-meye-OH-muh) or just “myoma”. They are almost always benign (non-cancerous) with 1 in 1,000 being cancerous. They can be painful, usually during your period and you may bleed heavily. It has been noted that African American women are more likely to have a fibroid than white women. Also, around 30 to 40 years old and as women go through that dreaded chunk of miserable time known as menopause, fibroids become more common and then they usually shrink down after you feel human again (after menopause).

I think the only reason they tried to blame fibroids was because I was having too much pain for ovarian cysts, too often. *shrug* Oh well!

So 19 years later I am pushing the two YEAR mark of having hot flashes during the day, and turning my bed into a swimming pool at night. Still having ovarian pain that radiates in my kneecaps.  And nothing they give me (not pain meds nor birth control for hormonal balance) has made anything better.

We talked about possible endometriosis but at this point they would have to do exploratory surgery to confirm it. The main symptom of endometriosis is pain. Pain before your period, during your period, after your period- pain during ovulation, pain during urination or during sex… or after sex. Pain in the lower back, pain when you breathe in, pain when you breathe out- or blink. Luckily there are other symptoms that aren’t debilitatingly painful! Some of these include fatigue, heavy and/or irregular periods, being bloated particularly during your period, change in bowels particularly during your period. Over 175 million women are effected by endometriosis. Ethinicity and cultural background seem to play no part in this condition.

Since I have my kids and my pain is unaffected by treatment, my impending hysterectomy was strongly suggested. Of the several types of hysterectomies, with my situation, my doctor suggested a laproscopic supracervical hysterectomy. Fancy words for taking out my Left ovary, my uterus above my cervix and, after some conversation choosing to leave my Right ovary because I am young for this procedure and leaving an ovary would keep me from having to deal with Hormone Replacement Therapy which, as any woman who has been through it can attest,  comes with a bundle of its’ own unique issues.

Hence, here I sit tapping away at my computer and trying to make sure I am completely prepared for what is coming up. I am kind of excited at the possibility of being pain free for the first time in a long time and dreading the initial pain that comes with the surgery. But it will be  so worth it if some of those awful symptoms can get checked off my list! So until then I will allow the Moose Tracks ice cream to take me away to a perfect world where there is no pain and the quart that I just ate won’t land on my hips!

Hormones Suck

6 Aug

…Unfortunately we do need them for a couple key things.

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